Jen smiles, sings, & shares.

I’ve always loved hearing this song in Colin’s car. (Colin’s my best friend) But tonight it felt especially refreshing to hear. There’s a lot of great pop songs but this one is definitely underrated and unheard.

Can’t wait to cover it.

That feeling when someone literally sweeps you off your feet when you least expect it.. exhilarating when you feel like you’re on cloud nine. It’s scary though because you don’t know how exactly you’ll land; right back on your feet or straight on your face. Yeah, it may have started off as just fun and silly butterflies.. you weren’t looking for anything, remember? We’re young. Time to live it up and meet as many people as possible! So many fish in the sea.. you gotta play your cards right.. don’t go all in just yet.. you have so much to lose. But there comes a point when you come to terms with the fact that you’re done playing. It’s all in or nothing. No more funny business.

Yeah, I’m a sap.

Again, can’t wait to cover it.

Pussycat Dolls - I’m Done

I wasn’t looking for this.
What is this?
I don’t know.
You know I was doing just fine,
By myself,
On my own.
Tell me how to stop this feeling.

I don’t want to fall in love,
Just want to have a little fun.
Then you came and swept me up and now I’m done - so done.
Falling madly deeply I,
Surprise myself enough to find,
That what’s begun is love and now I’m done - so done, I’m done.

Yeah

I can’t imagine right now,
Standing here, without you.
To think that I tried to ignore,
What I felt, what I knew,
I could never, stop this feeling.

I don’t want to fall in love,
Just want to have a little fun.
Then you came and swept me up and now I’m done - so done.
Falling madly deeply I,
Surprise myself enough to find,
That what’s begun is love and now I’m done - so done, I’m done.

Yeah

Thank you for not letting go,
When I said, “Let me go.”
Thank you for timing, thank you for finding,
Thank you for not believing me baby when I said,

I don’t want to fall in love,
Just want to have a little fun.
But then you came and swept me up and now I’m done - so done.
Falling madly deeply I,
Surprise myself enough to find,
That what’s begun is love and now I’m done - so done, I’m done.

Yeah

I wasn’t looking for this, and now I’m done, I’m done.

When 2011 came around the corner, I set a goal for myself to really take time to do devotionals. Spending time with God is yoga for the soul. It calms me and makes me stronger from the inside out. I’m sure a lot of you know what I mean when I say it’s easier to yearn for God’s presence or ask for His help when everything is going wrong. We have the “Why have you forsaken me?” attitude but forget to lift things up to Him when everything is sweet and dandy.

Right now.. as of March 26, 2011 2:57AM, my life is at a good place.
- My income is stable. I am able to pay rent, student loans, and bills while maintaining a restaurant job & music career.
- I live in an amazing home with amazing roommates. Everyday they make me laugh and smile. My home is cozy and full of love.
- Musically I have done so much in the span of 3 months and will be doing more as soon as I go into the studio. The album is supposed to drop end of August/beginning of September.
- Mama & brother both thrive to know God more and continue doing wonderful things to enrich their lives. We talk to each other semi-regularly and it’s a great upgrade from before. We miss each other and love each other unconditionally despite the lack of actually getting to spend time together.
- A lot of great people have come into my life and many of them have stuck around.
- God never ceases to amaze me.

So as you can see, I am very happy. I am so happy that instead of asking the question, “Why have you forsaken me?” I’m asking, “WHY ARE YOU SO GOOD TO ME?!”

Today I opened the bible to Matthew 27:27-31

Then the governor’s soldiers took Jesus into the Praetorium and gathered the whole company of soldiers around him. They stripped him and put a scarlet robe on him, and then twisted together a crown of thorns and set it on his head. They put a staff in his right hand. They knelt in front of him and mocked him. “Hail, king of the Jews!” they said. They spit on him, and took the staff and struck him on the head again and again. After they had mocked him, they took off the robe and put his own clothes on him. Then they led him away to crucify him.

While I was reading this my heart started wrenching. How could the soldiers be so cruel? EVEN IF they didn’t believe that Jesus was who He said He was (the Messiah), why did they have to be so hurtful to a man they did not even know? If they knew the truth, surely they would treat Him the way He truly deserved to be treated.

Then I stopped and really pondered upon my last thought. Would they have treated Him the way He truly deserved to be treated even if they knew the truth? I realized, “no.” I am no better than the governor’s soldiers. I am quick to mock Him everyday by pushing Him aside and living my life on my terms. With everything He’s given me, it’s so easy to take life by the horns and steer it according to the way I want to play it out. My heart isn’t always in the right place. I am a sinner who is quick to look out for myself.. I second guess whether I should put others before me. Jesus was selfless.

I’ve got to work on thinking LESS for my SELF and MORE for what’s in STORE for His Kingdom.

The biggest irony of the passage is when the soldiers lead Jesus to the cross to crucify Him. Little did they know, they were leading Him to His death to die for their sins.

I know I’m a work in progress. I’ll always be a work in progress.. but as long as I keep on working towards something and revving up my engine instead of staying lukewarm, I will be in a good place. Even when I feel like life is trying to tear me apart into tiny little pieces, I want to be able to genuinely, from the bottom of my heart, continue to ask God, “Why are you so good to me?”

Irony at it’s best? It’s the gospel.

Playing guitar is NOT my forte. I got piano lessons when I was a kiddo but it was never a consistent thing so unfortunately I fail at that too.. but my voice has always been something I stuck with. Singing liberated me and helped me express myself. Even when I didn’t have the right words to say exactly what I was feeling, the melodies that would come out set me free. I wasn’t a conventional vocalist with hardcore training, but I know I found my own method to the madness.

Thanks, Nate for the vid :)

This video is a happy reminder that my voice is my instrument.. and as much as I can get discouraged by the fact that my guitar skills are very novice, my singing/voice is a craft I will continue to embrace and work on and shouldn’t be belittled.

Just look at what this guy does.. groovy.

Once in a while people cover my songs and they end up right in front of my computer screen.. I listen, watch, and smile really big.

It’s one thing when someone listens to a song I wrote but it’s another when someone makes the effort to cover it! Thank you so much!

These ladies were gettin’ it! WERK, LADIES <3

“People say the Internet has made the whole world more convenient, but its real effect has been to turn everybody more restless, its harder to wait when you’re used to receiving the world at high-speed connection. You feel all things - you feel life itself- should be immediately searchable, quick as desire”
MORE THAN IT HURTS YOU by Darin Strauss Pg 26-27

This book I just started reading yesterday. Pretty good so far if I may say so myself.

So one of the random fun facts of my life is that when I was in high school I started watching Strong Bad e-mails on HomeStarRunner.

I seriously felt like a STAR ‘cause they chose my e-mail hahahaha.
It was a genuine question too..

Watch my e-mail getting answered HERE :)

Here’s the link here as well: http://www.homestarrunner.com/sbemail70.html

Do/did any of you watch Strong Bad emails?

During my stay in Boston I stopped by the Borders on Newbury and purchased 3 books, one of which was Fated by S.G. Browne. I hadn’t heard of him before I picked up the book, but I read the first couple of pages and was won over immediately.

Imagine if things like Fate, Destiny, Lust, Sloth… etc were all personified into immortal people. They actually lived among us and “watched over humans.” It’s actually a really clever book. Basically Fate, aka Fabio, falls in love with a mortal woman and shifts the universe due to his pursuance. The main thing I enjoyed about the book is that Browne is actually commenting on how our society is today… how we’re so consumed with, well, consumerism. How a lot of us are afraid of commitment, taking chances, and actually doom ourselves with our mentality and decisions we make.

I finished it today and I highly recommend.

An excerpt on Love from Pages 91-92 in Fated.

The thing about Love is that she’s codependent.

I don’t run into Love very often, since most of the people on my path don’t tend to find her with any regularity, and I notice beneath the confident stride and inviting smile she appears to be fighting back tears. Even though there are more than a dozen couples in the lounge and many of them are physically attracted to one another, no one in here is looking for Love.

Moments after entering the lounge, Love walks back toward the bar, escorted by laughter and catcalls from Passion and Desire, who are both drunk and starting to bloat.

“You know…” says Infatuation, pulling out a compact and flipping it open.

“Hold that thought,” I say, getting up and following Love toward the bar, where I find her sitting at the end next to a drunk… Love just ignores him and lights up a Winston, blowing the smoke at another man who has started to approach her with amorous intentions.

I pull up a stool next to her. “Tough day?”

“Why is it that every mortal man seems to think he’s in love with the idea of me,” she says, “rather than the person he’s supposed to be in love with?”

“Is every human supposed to be in love with another?” I ask.

“In theory,” she says, “But for some reason, it’s just not working out that way. Lust and Desire and Infatuation seem to be the flavors of the day. Winston?” she asks, offering me the pack of cigarettes.

“No, thanks,” I say, “Never developed a taste for them and don’t want to start now.”

“Not a good idea to tempt Fate—is that it?”

“Something like that,” I say.

We make small talk for a while, long enough for Love to empty most of the Scotch from her rocks, until I finally get around to broaching the subject that’s on my mind.

“Why do humans fall in love?” I ask.

“You say that as if it’s some kind of choice.”

“Point taken,” I say. “Okay, so how do humans fall in love? How do you create the awareness that makes them realize they were meant for each other?”

“First of all, they don’t so much fall in love as they discover it,” she says. “Falling implies you’re out of control, which is what Passion and Lust and Desire want you to feel. The problem is, they’ve done such a good job of marketing themselves that most humans who aren’t ready for love get confused between me and their physical yearning.”

I have to admit, I’ve seen my share of humans who screwed up their fates in the pursuit of love when all they wanted as to get laid.

“The truth is, Fabio (Fate’s pseudonym)” she says, downing the rest of her Scotch, “love is like a good book you can’t put down and you wish would never end. But with Infatuation and Lust, rather than enjoying how the story unfolds, you just skip to the last chapter.“…

…”And second,” says Love, pointing toward the lounge, “not everyone’s ready to embrace me. Those couples back there, all caught up in their passion and their desire, they’re not ready for love. They wouldn’t know what to do with it. So I’m not going to waste my time on some man or woman who won’t appreciate what I’ve given them.”

Fated by S.G. Browne

Currently Listening to: John Mayer - In Your Atmosphere

I have a lot of love to give because I’ve received that much more.
I have God to thank for that.

Note to self: Don’t worry so much and happily be yourself!
Why watch every little move you make according to how someone may interpret it?
Be intentional according to the Lord’s law.. what He thinks matters the most.

At church we went over the beginning of Deuteronomy 6 and what resonated the most is how the way we act and live our lives affects those around us. Of course, it’s a given. But we should be so intentional that we impress people.

No, not the type of impressing where we make ourselves look good and make people think we’re awesome.

It’s the type of impression in which we leave a mark. When you leave a mark, something/someone is changed.

Reflection Question(s):
What kind of a mark do you want to leave? How are you going to go about doing it?

Recently found out that one of my good friend’s Isaac DJs!

I plan on going out to supporting him with my friendsies but hope you find a liking in his mixes :)

Enjoy enjoy!

http://soundcloud.com/isaacnice1

My strengths are in planning.

If there is a plan, I will execute it with the time allotted and rules established.

There’s also a lot of fun involved with finding a better way to going about the task, but for the most part I like to get things done and know that everything is under control. I’d rather work on whatever I have to do early so that if I finish early and realize something is wrong with it, I have more time to fix it since I didn’t dilly dally the first time around.

But unfortunately my life does not always go according to plan. There’s a lot of uncertainties.. the little things. Anxiety swallows me whole and I’m stuck in this dark belly known as circumstance. Then I start wondering how I got stuck there in the first place ‘cause I had to have seen it coming!

So basically, I don’t like funny business. I like the raw/true facts of life. Call me plain jane, but I appreciate the simple things.

I know my life isn’t according to my plan. This is actually a good thing because I’m a flawed human. God has a sense of humor, for sure. He challenges me, for sure.I just can’t forget that he also LOVES me, for sure. God has a plan.

For sure.

 ¹ LORD, you are my God;
   I will exalt you and praise your name,
for in perfect faithfulness
   you have done wonderful things,
   things planned long ago.

Currently Listening to: Florence & The Machine - Cosmic Love