In 2nd grade our class had to do a project where we made Father’s Day cards for our.. well, fathers. I remember making one mindlessly. I never really thought too much of it when I was younger. When you don’t grow up with a dad, you don’t exactly know what you’re missing. I knew mine was in Korea. I didn’t have a relationship with him - we didn’t speak on a regular basis, but he was there somewhere across the world.
As I was making this Father’s Day card, one of my classmates tried to stop me.
“You don’t have a dad.”
“Yes, I do.”
“I DO. I’m gonna send it to him!”
I remember being very upset and the next thing I knew, I was home and threw away the card into the green trash bin in the kitchen of our tiny apartment where all the rubbish went.
I lied to this classmate. I wasn’t ever going to send it, but I knew I had a dad but they just did not understand.
I didn’t quite understand either. I didn’t understand why things were the way they were and why.
This was 16 years ago.
If I could talk to my 8 year old self, I would tell her that she always had a father.. and even better than just a biological father, that she had a Heavenly Father who loves her and would do anything for her and never leave her.
I would also tell her that 16 years from now she would face the very dad that seemed extremely negligent and that she would be able to forgive him and learn to love him in her own unique way because her Heavenly Father did first.
God was the Father I always had but was hard to grasp. Even still now He is hard to grasp, but the way He’s led me so far in this life of mine fills my heart with an overwhelming amount of disbelief and peace. He’s gotten me this far despite the odds against me and He’s been chipping away at the nonsense and molding me to be who He ultimately wants me to be.
I would also tell her that she was right about believing that one day she would have a loving husband who would one day be a great father to her own children. I will let her know that she would be able to trust that marriage is something possible for her regardless of all the failed relationships and failed marriages she was surrounded by because she wouldn’t base all her trust & hopes in humans, but in her Lord.
I know that some of you may not have a relationship with your dad as much as you wish you did, or have had the chance to ever get to know them - but the most important thing is to know that none of us are fatherless.
Happy Father’s Day <3